Be The Weirdo

Have you ever felt like a 'loser'?
You know what I mean, right? Like you don't fit in, or you really suck at life, or you don't really know who you are... I used to feel that way all the time! I learned a lesson my senior year of high school, though, which I have recently been reminded of...

I wasn't very 'popular' in school... I didn't have one tight group of friends that I stuck with and because of that, I always felt that I didn't belong. It was something I constantly struggled with. I didn't eat lunch in the same place twice in a week... I floated between 'cliques' and although as an outsider, I felt that I didn't really agree with the exclusivity of my cliquey friends, I still couldn't shake this feeling that I didn't fit somewhere. It was in the most unexpected place that I learned how I could find true happiness, and that I could create it, because trying to 'fit in' was never going to work for me...

Gerardo stepped into my life, and showed me that everyone deserves a fried, and what the word friendship REALLY means.

You see, Gerardo has Downs Syndrome,but while he doesn't speak much in words, he speaks volumes in his actions. I found that when I was with him, I could be 100% myself, and I never felt that he was judging me. There was absolutely zero awkwardness there that seems to come with friendships at that stage in life. I had been comfortable with him in the classes we shared in school, but the biggest lesson I learned from him was on our senior trip.

We went down to Lagoon, in Farmington, Utah. I had been there before, but always with family, who I spent the most time with and enjoyed their company the most, anyway. I remember arriving at the park and having a really lousy morning. I just didn't feel totally welcome with the group that I started out with and had shifted through a few groups by late morning time... I was ready to go home, thinking that I really didn't have a place there... theme parks are no fun on your own.

It was about lunch time when I ran into Gerardo and, while I first questioned what people would think of me if they saw me hanging out with him, I figured that I wouldn't see most of these people very often after a few weeks anyway... so I let go of all pretenses, and decided I could really care less if people thought I was weird for choosing to spend my day with him.

Let me tell you... the moment I made that decision, I suddenly began having the best trip to Lagoon that I can remember. Gerardo is a true friend, in the sense that he's not trying to fit in or impress anyone. He is elated by small and simple things and he passes absolutely zero judgement to those around him. The most important lesson I think I learned, though, was that it starts with HIM. He knows his purpose, and while he might not be able to express himself in ways that I can, through words, I can FEEL that he knows it. His innocence is the reason that I was able to let go and have such a great time.

I walked away from that trip thinking to myself, "I hope that I can someday be in such a position that people feel around me, exactly how I feel around Gerardo."

I later chose Gerardo as my walking partner for graduation, and it broke my heart when I received ridicule from some family members because of that decision.  

So, why am I telling you this?

My first semester of college, with this experience fresh on my mind, was one of the most happy and rewarding times of my life. For once, I felt that I DID fit in, and that I was what my friends considered, "a good friend." However, life happened, and I'm sorry to admit that I forgot about the lesson I learned from Gerardo, and the goal I had set. I became hardhearted and the pretenses started forming in my life again... and guess what? I began feeling like I didn't fit in AGAIN! The depression that I had in high school began to take form in my life again, and I was miserable.

I have found ways to make the pain subside, but it was personal development, and reaching deep inside of myself that brought these memories back into light for me.

Here's where it starts: Inside.

If you're not happy with who you are. Your true self, then you'll never find true happiness or friendship. It's a weird thing, but for some reason, when you concentrate on your own faults and weaknesses, it seems that that's all you can see when you look at others as well. It's taken me a long time to figure this out. Fortunately, when you turn your focus to what you CAN do, and look for what you do well, you begin to see that in those around you. The less judgmental you are of yourself, the less you will feel the need to judge others. And let me tell you, when you can completely let go of all of those pretenses, you'll hop on the 'tilt-a-whirl' we call life and have the funnest ride you've ever had... and your really friends, they're going to be there squished up right beside you. They bursts of laughter ingrained in your memory forever!

Trust me, I know, because I've experienced it!

True health is an inward thing.

This is it!

(Taken from my Facebook...)

I don't even know who's awake right now, but if you are, maybe you need to hear/see this...

I want everyone in the world to know that regardless of the hard things you'll go through, there is always good to be found.

I used to watch these amazing people and think, "What is wrong with me... why can't I do that, too?"

A year ago, I started reading personal development books everyday, and I've been listening to anything I can get a-hold of when it comes to growing myself and over coming my set-backs.

It doesn't mean I'm not going to have trials and struggles in the future, but the fact is, I now have the TOOLS that I need to see those trials as learning experiences, rather than life-crisis.

I have realized that fear is a story made up in my mind... it's something I think may happen, but hasn't proven itself to happen yet, and just this week, I learned how I can take that fear, and acknowledge it, then USE IT TO MY ADVANTAGE.

I look at JK Rowling as one of my mentors. She started writing Harry Potter as a broken and battered woman, and now she has the world in her hands. How did she do that??? I'm finally starting to figure that out, and by gosh, if you're ready for change, I'd love to have you join me on this crazy journey!

I have those tools now, and I want to share them with others who are ready to break free from a life of fear. You only get one chance at life! Don't waste it!!!

If you're looking for a sign, this is it!!!

Who is that girl? About me!

Hey! Thanks for checking out my blog!

I'm Cheltzey, and I live in northwestern Montana with my dog, Ruger, and my husband, Andrew. 

We run a marina where we work hard, and play harder! 

Some of my favorite things to do are playing on 'our lake'... swimming and boating in the summer, playing on the ice and snow in the winter... I love health and fitness, which is still pretty new territory for me. I was practically killing myself with bad habits until I finally made the decision to nip my health-problems in the bud in late 2013, and it's been a bumpy ride, but I am learning to thrive through the use of some awesome tools; many of which I will share on this blog!
I love cooking (not baking, and there is a BIG difference)! I love reading and writing, and spend as much time as I can outdoors! I love deep-thinking and conversation, and learning as much as I can about pretty much any topic!

This is my story...

Honey Baked Cod

If you like Asian flare in your food, then this is the dish for you!

My husband loves to eat at this "Mongolian Grill" in town. If I let him choose where we eat for date night, that's usually one of his top picks... and, while I'll admit that the whole concept is fun, it is more like a buffet, which I'm not too much of a fan of.

The last time we went, though, I skipped on noodles in my bowl and had some cod with veggies and a few ladles of sauce. For the first time, I left feeling satisfied and comfortable... something about ramen-type noodles that really upsets my stomach.

So, when I found a recipe for honey-marinated baked cod, I knew I had to try it out. I adjusted a little from the recipe that I found (they used sesame oil, but I absolutely love the taste of coconut oil... I'm sure you could use olive oil too...) Also, I'm sure that you could use chicken if you're not into fish.

I didn't tell Andrew I was making this for dinner, but I made the marinade and he walked in and said it smelled amazing... and after supper was over, he licked his plate! (But you didn't hear that from me)!

So, here's the recipe to the marinade. I'll post my rice recipe tomorrow!

I served this to fit into the '21 Day Fix' meal plan. The whole meal was fish-red, salad- 2 green, rice-1 green and 1 yellow, and fish marinade is free. (I did not dress my salad).

Honey Marinade (Baked Cod)

Prep time: 24 Hours 

Cook Time:7 Minutes

Ingredients:

4, 6oz cod fillets

1/2 cup honey

1/3 cup liquid aminos (soy sauce)

1/4 cup melted extra virgin cold-pressed coconut oil

1/3 cup apple cider vinegar

2 tsp fresh ground pepper

1-2 cloves minced garlic

Proceedure:

Combine all ingredients (except fish) in a glass air-tight dish. (You can just cover with tin-foil while marinating). Use a fork or whisk to ensure honey mixes well with other ingredients.

Add cod, and marinate for 24 hours. Flip fish once or twice to allow for flavor distribution.

Preheat oven to 450 degrees F; remove fish from marinade and place on baking sheet that has been prepared with parchment paper. Bake cod for 7-9 minutes, until tender and flaky.

Serve immediately.

The ONE Thing that EVERY Successful person does...

Hey everyone! The content around here has been pretty heavy lately, so I'm planning on lightening things up around here! No more talking about what's gone wrong in life! Today, I want to talk about how to find joy and happiness in your life!

Have you ever wondered why some people just seem to have AMAZING success at just about anything they do? What gives the THE DRIVE to keep going when the going gets tough?

Well, I'm here to tell you that from my own experience, I have learned that THE ONE THING THAT SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE DO:

IS DREAM

Successful people DREAM... A LOT!

So here's my question, do you let yourself dream? Do you think about what you want to do with your life? Do you plan for better, and strive for progress?

The sad thing is, most people don't. Life gets busy and for some unknown reason, most people get caught up in the day-to-day rather than chasing their dreams! *I'm guilty of doing this myself!*

So, how DO you keep dreaming, even in the thick of a monotonous lifestyle???

You have to make the decision to KNOW what you want, then go out of your comfort zone to bring it into you! You have to dream about where you're going and BELIEVE that you're on the track to getting there. You have to light your fire in such a way that your faith in what you are meant to do will become unshakable!

You've got to think of your dreams to put EVERYTHING you do into perspective EVERY.SINGLE.DAY of your life!

People who do this go through the same things you do... set backs, struggle, slow growth, missed goals... YOU NAME IT, but they'll push through it because their dreams are alive and well, and fed daily!

So, figure out what it is you want in life! Believe that it's achievable, even if other people think what you're doing is irrational. God won't put something in your heart if He doesn't think you can do it, and if God thinks you can do something, well... no one else's opinion really matters anyway!

If you want to know how to start your own fire and keep it going, I recommend finding a personal development book and reading at least ten pages a day! You'll feel like you can conquer the world, and you'll be amazed at what it will do for your life!

Make vision boards and put them in a place that you can see everyday!

Don't laugh, but here's an example of my latest vision board:

Looking at that everyday LIGHTS MY FIRE! It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, because it's MY dream! Whatever it is you want in life, decide that TODAY is the day that you're going to start reeling it into yourself!

Do that ONE THING every successful person does:

DREAM!

Social Media Comparison Complex

Guess what?

I have a condition... and I'll bet that if you don't have a chronic case of this, too, then I'm sure you might have had a touch of it in the past.

If not, then kudos to you, because YOU are LUCKY!!!

OK, OK... so you're probably right that I totally made that up, but I want to talk to you about something... Does being on Social Media really make you happy?

Can I tell you a story?

There is this girl I know... she's been married for about 3.5 years, and she's been through some pretty crazy stuff. People who know her story often ask her how she can appear so happy. She often replies that she learned at a young age that happiness is a choice, and she didn't always make the right choice... what they don't see, though, is what she's like behind closed doors.

I know that this girl cries to her husband regularly because of some things that have happened in her past that were out of her control. I also know that she and her husband made the decision that in January of 2013, they were going to try for their first baby. They planned it out in October of 2012... but January came and went, and there was no positive pregnancy test... Time passed by and here it is December of 2014, and there's still no sign of a child on it's way. This girl has been devastated. She has felt lonely, and helpless. She's been angry with God for giving her a desire that she cannot fulfill. She's been in physical pain as well... She found out recently, after going for a run and having to stop because of excruciating pain, that she has endometriosis... And her 'punch it out' routine of exercising the pain away was actually going to cause more harm than good if she didn't slow down.

She had been annoyed with people asking her and/or her husband, "So when are you guys going to start having some kids?" She knows they mean well, but how do you answer such a personal and intimate question without making the person asking feel awkward?

Now, with the holidays around her, and losing one of her favorite outlets, she's at a loss for what to do with herself. She spends hours on Social Media, because her career is run through those platforms. She sees what seems like all of her friends being blessed with children... some already having three, even though high school ended just over five years ago!

She withdraws into herself, not wanting to celebrate much because it feels like something is missing from their little family. She sinks lower and lower, each and every-day into what her husband refers to as "her dark place". She just can't pull away from looking online at all of her friends whose lives seem to go smashingly well... and wonder, "What did I do wrong?"

She KNOWS what it's like to be happy and enjoy life, but somehow, she gets SO CAUGHT UP in her own story, that she can't see anyone else's pain and suffering, especially when they mask it with ten filters on Instagram...

Now, you might not be familiar with infertility, but have you ever compared your back-stage life to someone else's Standing-Ovation-worthy stage performance? You can't be happy if you are comparing your worst to someone's best... and, honestly, most of what's out in our media isn't even people's best... it's their fake. It's an image that they have created, in hopes that it will gain likes and follows, and comments... because EVERYONE has the desire to feel that SOMEONE is noticing them, and approves of what they are doing!

So here's the thing, what can you DO about the comparison blues?

Well, first, you have to make the decision that you are so uncomfortable how you are feeling now, that you are going to make a change... any change, to bring a little light into your heart.

Secondly, REACH OUT FOR HELP! Seriously, if you want to feel better about yourself, look around you and see if you know anyone who can relate to what you are going through, or who's going through something that's even harder than what you've got on your plate, because I guarantee you'll find them. I actually reached out, today, to a friend who I know is going through the same type of trial that my husband and I are experiencing, and while what we talked about was sad, this slump that I have been in for a few weeks now was completely lifted just because I knew that SOMEONE could relate to how I was feeling. You don't wish trials upon others, but it's nice to know that you have someone to reach out to who can relate to you.

Next, give yourself permission to be sad once in a while... I listened to a lady, today, who told of what it was like experiencing three of her children and her husband die from cancer... the most amazing thing she said, though, was, 

"The greater our sorrow is, the greater our capacity is to feel joy!"

So, it's OK to be upset once in a while, because if we don't pass through pain, we'll never really understand what pleasure is. I'm OK with that, as long as I don't get so caught up in my own problems that I feel like giving up.

Lastly, stop comparing yourself to others. JUST STOP IT, OK? You want to know what that does to you? It induces fear...

Fear that you're not good enough. Fear that you'll never amount to anything. Fear that someone is more successful, or prettier, or smarter, or funnier than you; and fear is not of God.

I know I've been quoting Jen Sencero a lot lately, but she's just right on the money, and I'm re-reading her book... so I just want to leave you with this quote:

"Give yourself permission...to be who you are regardless of what anybody else thinks or believes is possible. Do not deny yourself the life you want to live because you're worried you're not good enough, or that you'll be judged, or that it's too risky, because who does that benefit? NO ONE, that's who! When you live your life doing the things that turn YOU ON, that you're good at, that bring you joy, that makes you shove stuff in people's faces and scream, 'check this out!!!' You walk around so lit up that you shoot sunbeams out of yer eyeballs. Which automatically lights up the world around you. Which is PRECISELY WHY YOU ARE HERE: To shine your big-ass ball of fire onto this world of ours! A WORLD THAT LITERALLY DEPENDS ON LIGHT TO SURVIVE!!!"

Sincero, Jen (2013-04-23). You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life (p. 244). Running Press. Kindle Edition. 

So, the moral of the story is this: STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS!

First off, it'll only hold you back from being totally awesome (which you were meant to be) because it induces feelings and emotions that are not from your source!

Secondly, it's a form of pride. Not only are you dousing your own light, but you're sending negative energy to the person you envy... so instead of wallowing in your jealousy and thinking that their best of their best is so much better than your worst of your worst, be happy for them... keep telling yourself that they are cool, and they deserve happiness, too... and you know what will surprisingly happen? You'll start to BELIEVE it, and THAT is when you're gonna really SHINE!!!

Sources of hope:

"You Are Special" Max Luacado - Learn about how loving yourself will make all those black dots fall off and make you happy!

"You Are A Badass" Jen Sencero - Just read it... Seriously.

"The Refiner's Fire" - For anyone who feels like your crap is pretty crappy, and everyone else's life is peach pie... go ahead and give this a watch!

Sell-Out

 One of the hardest parts of life is the struggle to survive. Some people seem to do this fantastically... they seem to thrive from the outside. For some reason, not only can they get food on the table for their families, but they find a means to splurge a little on fun things like travel, or toys, etc.

I'll bet you know the type of person that I'm talking about! Are you maybe that type?

Then there's the type that gets by, but they never really do much with what they have. They're not really struggling, but they're not really making more than what they need to get by. Can you think of someone you know who lives like this?

Lastly, there's the type that, no matter how many handouts or how much help they get, they just can't seem to find the means to take care of what needs to be taken care of in their life. These people seem to constantly be in a state of crisis.

Which one are YOU?

I'll tell you that my husband and I (because we share all of our income, I count us as one) are a mix of the first and second type. We used to be type two, through and through, but more recently, we've been learning how to create our own lifestyle... to live a life of our dreams rather than building someone else's dream just to get by. It hasn't been easy, but we're working on it, and we've seen big changes come into our lives... which leads me into what I REALLY was intending on writing about tonight... feeling like a sell-out.

Here's the deal, anyone who has worked in an MLM business can tell you that the business model gets a bad rap. It's tough work being a sales-person, and you'll find that some of your closest friends can become some of your worst enemies. I know how annoying it is to feel like all of your friends are trying to sell you something. I've been there! I've bought things I didn't want or need just to 'help my friends get a leg-up in their businesses'. That's why the decision for me to become a Beachbody coach wasn't easy. I didn't want to be that annoying sales friend, but I found something that was absolutely LIFE CHANGING for me, and just like other things in my life, I HAD to share it, whether I got paid for it or not. So, i made the decision to go for it and here's what happened:

I realized that this company model is amazing because "Million Dollar Body, Inc" which is Beachbody, is about more than getting into those skinny jeans. We're taught that if you're not fit mentally, there's no way you can be fit physically. This was the first place I had been taught that concept (besides church) and I was given tools to nourish my mind as well as my body! 

The next thing that happened was unexpected, but it has really drug me through the ringer lately. It seems that all of my friends feel like a have an ulterior motive every time I talk to them or pay them a genuine, sincere complement. Granted, not everyone was like this, but it still surprised me how many of my friends felt that I was doing things with/or/ for them merely because I was hoping they would join one of my Beachbody challenges... and it made me step back and think, "Do you even really know who I am?"

So, with that being said, I'd just like to say that for anyone who is thinking of joining an MLM, DO IT! You will probably not ever find something that will make you stretch and feel uncomfortable and grow as much as this experience. However, don't be surprised when people suddenly forget that you love them and care about them when they start tearing your dreams down, because it will happen.

I've been reading Jen Sencero's "You Are A Badass..." and something that she writes really sticks out to me, We get a lot of lip service about going after our dreams and believing anything is possible, but how do you actually DO this? How do you create a life you love?...do what's in your heart even when you're terrified of falling flat on your face of being rejected or losing all your money, or looking like a complete goober?" How do you do that when the people you'd think would be supporting you are suddenly telling you that 'that dream is not good enough' or 'you'll never be successful with that' or "Oh, I know a guy who did one of those companies. It's a pyramid scheme. You should get out before they steal all of your money."

Well, I'm here to tell you that the most important thing come's from Jen's quote; "how do you CREATE A LIFE YOU LOVE...DO WHAT'S IN YOUR HEART (regardless of your fears, or what people think of you).

That's how you do it.

I'm not going to tell you it's all cake and ice cream, and that it's going to be easy. Nope. It'll probably be one of the hardest things you've ever done, but IF you follow that advice in caps up there, well I'll bet you'll create something you couldn't even dream of having before, and all those friends who think you are just a big sell out, well, I'll bet that when you've seen success and changed millions of people's lives for the better in some way, they'll still be sitting there just about where they were when they told you that following your dreams wouldn't amount to anything (or they'll have joined you because they see just how great you are)!

One last little thing, if you're one of the Debbie Downer's who's trying to crush your friends' dream, maybe ease up a little and look into WHY they are doing what they're doing... it might surprise you how honorable their desires and dreams really are!