The BIG Picture!

I meet new people everyday.

Some are happy.

Some are not.

You know what's most interesting to me, though, is when I get the opportunity to listen to *THEIR STORY* I realize that EVERYONE has a story!!! EVERYONE gets knocked down and EVERYONE has their moments... but the REALLY interesting part to all of this is how some people's moments seem to 

DEFEAT 

them, while other's moments seem to 

DEFINE 

them!

So... what makes the difference between a self-defeated person, and a self-defined person?

Well, I don't know what it is down to the nitty-gritty, but one thing that I have seen is the person who is defined by their story CHOOSES to make it a stepping stone in their journey through life. While the person who takes their trials as self-defeating can not seem to see around the stone that's in front of them, and rather than hop on it and move past it, they look at it as this HUGE mountain that they are not prepared to climb... instead of taking it one step at a time, they look at the big-scary monument before them, and they shirk in it's shadow, even though it might be the same event that a "self-definer" tackled with no problem.

I used to be self-defeating. I didn't want to move past these trails that I had in my life... I guess it was because it was easier for me to blame my mistakes and failures on some outside influence. I didn't have to take personal responsibility and to me, that meant that I could just get by, but live comfortably... then my eyes were opened. I realized how unhappy I really was... and even worse, I cast that unhappiness out into the world. I abused people who showed me empathy by using that to my advantage. Anytime something went wrong in my life, I blamed it on my trials, and ran away from the challenge. Over and over again, I was taught the same lesson, but I didn't learn from it.

That is not a healthy way to live, and, eventually, you will come to a fork in the road... you get to a point where you either have to give up, or change, because you can't keep going the direction you started... where the bridges that you have burned will show you that they still stand; ghosts in your past that were never really brought down. You'll reach that fork and realize that all of those excuses helped you to survive, but that you weren't REALLY LIVING... and you'll wonder what horrible event even put you on that road, because you won't remember it...

How can it be that something 'so important' can lead a person down a road of lies and misery and excuses, only for them to end up not knowing what really took them down that road in the first place?

I don't know how it starts, but I am ever grateful that at 23 years, I realized that that pathway is not the pathway that I wanted to be treading. I am grateful that we are given opportunities at every waking moment to make the decision to create our own pathway, and make it as glorious as we want it to be! I am so grateful that I didn't figure this out on my death-bed!

Change is hard, but it's worth it.

If you want to know how to DEFINE your own story, and not fall victim to your SELF-DEFEATING story, there is so much  you can do, but I'd suggest you start by seeing that all of those things you thought you were a victim of, are really there to teach you and define you, and prepare you for more than you could ever dream for yourself!

People are successful when they see the BIG PICTURE. Successful people are happy because, while they are grateful for the past, they do not dwell on it, whether it be happy or sad. They look forward to the future and they don't speculate about things that have not come to pass. They welcome change with open hearts, because they know that anything of value first must pass through the refiners' fire. The most important thing they do, though, is live in the moment. For they truly understand that it is there that they will find true peace, happiness and their own, unique calling!

And you want to know what the best part is? YOU are capable of having that, too!